蔡康永的说话之道

今天在书店随意拿起一本书翻一翻
看看书皮，哦，是蔡康永的书。
打开来读读看，果然让我有一股冲动想把它给买下。
为什么？因为我感觉到他所要表达的重点。
其中之一是

聊天时，每个人都想聊自己
聊天时，每个人都想聊自己的感觉。

当你在东指西划地大谈：“厚！昨天晚上我夹着鲨鱼夹去倒垃圾的时候，我前男友开车经过我面前耶！靠！我额头刚好长了两颗大痘痘……*#@&#*……”

当你这样废话连篇，而你对面的人，却认真地睁着眼睛看着你，专注而关心的时候，你真的会觉得这个人是你最好的朋友，是你最想倾吐心事的对象，是地球上最可依靠在上面垂泪的一双肩膀……

这个看似很专心听你说话的人，嗯，我不知道她是不是你最好的朋友，但她无疑是你“最上道”的朋友。

她专注地望着你时，天晓得她心里在想些什么？！她可能望着你的嘴，想着“嘴巴一直动，好像我养的金鱼喔……上排牙齿有披萨的菜渣耶……她讲的那个前男友不是长得像猪吗？……”

处于这个状态的她，实在不太像什么“地球上最可靠的一双肩膀”，但你会喜欢她，这是一定的。

所以，反过来，当你自己想要被别人喜欢的时候，你只要把别人放在你自己的位置上来想，那就轮到你来扮演这个“最上道”的朋友了。

扮演这样一个朋友，最高原则非常简单：

“尽量别让自己说出‘我’字。”

听起来很容易，但你可以试试看，跟朋友聊天十分钟，不要说出“我”字。

对，就是不要说出“我”字。每次想说“我”字时，都改成“你”字或“他”字。

你会发现这十分钟里面，本来不断说着“我昨天……”“我觉得……”“我买了……”这些句子的自己，忽然变成一个不断把话题丢给对方、让对方畅所欲言的、超级上道的人！

也许你会说，你又不是在陪酒，又不是在牛郎店上班，为什么要让对方畅所欲言，而不是让自己畅所欲言？

答案很简单，你的朋友们，也不是在陪酒、做牛郎啊，他们凭什么要永远让你畅所欲言？

Let me translate to those who donno Chinese.

chat, everyone wants to talk about their feelings.

When you talk from the East to the West: " Aiyo! Last night I go out and throw rubbish, my ex- pass by in front of me! I look damn UGLY, and and...my forehead got 2 biji big big acne ... ... *#@&#* ... ... "

While you were talking about nonsense, the people across you, look serious with eyes open wide wide, focus and concern, you actually think that this person is your best friend, that he/she listens to you , is the most reliable on the planet etc ... ...

He/she seem to pay 100% attention to you. Hmm, I do not know if he/she is your best friend, but he/she certainly is your " most on the road " friends.

He/she focused on looking/listen at you, but God knows what is in the mind? ! He/She maybe looking at you, thinking " the way she/him moving her/his lips, is so alike like my goldfish ...ewww ...the teeth have pizza left over ... ... isn't the ex- looks like a pig? ... ... "

In this state, he/she is not quite like what " the most reliable pair of shoulders to lean on" but you will like her/him, that is certain.

So, in return, when you want to be likable by other people, put yourself in other people's shoes, then it's your turn to play the " best on the Road, " friend.

To play such a friend, highest principle is very simple:

" try not to say the word ' I ' very often. "

Sounds easy, but you can try chatting with a friend for ten minutes and do not say the word " I ".

Yes, do not say the " I " word. Whenever you want to say the " I " word, changed it to " you " word or " his/her " word.

You will find that within this ten minutes, instead of saying , " I said yesterday ... ... "" I think ... ... "" I bought ... ... " These sentences themselves, suddenly become a constant topic of conversation threw between each other, let the other speak their minds , then you shall become the super people on the road!

Perhaps you will say, you're not a "chicken" or a "duck" in a pub, why should you do that and not talk bout "myself"?

The answer is simple, your friends is not too, why should they ever let you talk bout "I"?

(p/s: i translate using google. modify a bit only. hope you all agak agak understand la ho)

"You are what you say" 有兴趣，就点来看看吧